Chapter VI: The Retrieval
“You really should stop doing that,” Blake said, standing up from the car. “You know your mama said that slapping people was a bad habit.” “My mama ain’t here right now, bromage.” said Vanessa. Not showing any reaction to her strange speech, he continued, “And you know she don’t like it when you run off without a word. Please tell me you’re not seeing that Carl guy again.” “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but I don’t even wanna think about being in the same room as that filth. Now are you going to get me out of here or keep blabbing your freaking gums?” Vanessa asked. “Last time I checked y’all were in ‘love,’ Blake said. A visual shudder shook Vanessa. “Banjo, -er, Blake, please just get me out of here.” Vanessa began, but she was caught off guard as one of the guards who had been hit by the car began to stand. Vanessa threw her knife with surprising accuracy and force going straight through his hand, pinning him to the ground. “Aaaugh!” the thug shouted. “That’s it, I’m not letting you get away! King of Town Bert always gets his way!” Blake kicked him in the side of his head, effectively silencing him. “That’ll take care of that,” said Blake in a voice sounding much like Baka’s before returning to Blake’s normal, manly voice. “Did I just imagine that? Or did his voice sound just like Billy’s?” thought Jason, still ignorant as ever of Baka’s name. However, Vanessa turned to Blake and said. “Nice job. Let’s get out of here before they all wake up. “Sure thing, let’s go to that diner across the way,” said Blake. “I’m starving for food and attention.” “Before we go, I need to check something,” said Vanessa. She took Craig’s knife out of the thug’s hand and decided to take a look inside the Model-T Blake had crashed into Craig’s shop. The inside astounded her with knobs, levers, and buttons. “Someone is going to have to pay for all these damages,” Craig decided to make himself known. “Don’t worry pops! I’ll take care of these ruffians and get you enough money to rebuild your shop and more,” Blake replied gleefully. “Yeah, and I’m a sword made outta a skeleton,” Craig said sarcastically. “I think I’ll follow you, just so ya don’t skip town.” Bess walked into the room, over to the thug, and rolled him over, patting him down. “No, it ain’t here,” she muttered. “One of these hooligans done took my prized necklace a few weeks ago. I’ll reckon it’s hidden in their hideout. “The fools got a hideout up town, in one of those big ol’ mansions,” Blake contributed. “We’ll need a ride, but obviously you don’t have anything we can use, do ya Craig?” “Well I do have something, one of them new Chevrolet Bigguns. I’m not partial to using it yet, but if it’s for Bess then... then I’ll help look for the necklace,” he replied. “Why can’t we use that car ya drove in on?” Bess questioned, as the engine burst into flames. “That would be why. However if you just give me a minute alone with that Chevy, I’ll get it up to par,” Blake said as he pulled a tool belt out of the flaming wreckage of his Model T. Craig, Bess, and Vanessa decided it would be nice to sit in the parlor at the front of the shop while they let Blake finish the repairs. From behind they could hear Blake grunting in effort, while the sound of ripping cloth and hammered steel came from the back. “Little lady,” Craig began. “I know it’s been a long day, but you just seem... out of it. You haven’t acted quite right since I’ve met you.” “How do you mean, Gra- I mean, Craig? said Vanessa. “I’ve never been better, homie...” “Honey if you’ve never been better I’d hate to see your worst. Are you sure you’re all right? What was that you almost called me there? Gray what now?” “...shut up, n00b,” Vanessa said, adopting her old way of speaking again. “What is a newb?” Craig asked, sounding it out. But just as Vanessa was about to answer, Blake walked back covered in grease, and now was wearing jeans and a ragged shirt. “Good news, the truck is in good condition, so we’ll be able to make it there. Bad news; there isn’t enough gas to get us there.” “I gotta couple of fuel cans out back, but they’re all empty. Know where we can get some fuel, Bess?” Craig asked. “...I’ll give you all I can, Craig. If you and these kids are serious about getting me that necklace back it’s the least I can do,” Bess replied, sighing. “Please keep these children safe.” Blake and Craig went to fill up the fuel tanks and left Bess and Vanessa alone in the parlor. “Do you think I’m crazy, Bess?” Vanessa asked. “Whaddya mean? I have seen some crazy people yes, but you, you’re just a little confused, that’s all.” “You’re a cool gal in my book,” Vanessa proclaimed, giving Bess a thumbs up and flashing a giant grin. “Honey, all you need to know is be true to yourself. You’ll get where you’re going.” Out of the garage Blake shouted, “Alright, enough mushy gushy crap! Let’s get this show on the road!” Vanessa and Beth waltzed into the garage and saw the newly furnished vehicle. It resembled the truck it had once been, but now shown brightly in the sunlight and the inside was filled with so many buttons, levers, and switches that it gave Vanessa a headache. Craig crawled inside the cockpit with them. “Now let’s just get in there and get out without attracting too much attention to ourselves.” As he said it, Blake cranked the vehicle and it roared to life. The inside lit up as they cruised out of the garage. The vehicle moved with amazing speed, clearly not the speed meant for the car. It was also surprisingly comfortable for all three of them to be in there. A few minutes later they were turning onto Jackman Street. “Bert’s hideout is around here, near the dock,” Blake piped up. The car slowed to a halt as one of the largest houses Vanessa had ever seen came into view. It was large and immaculate like a temple in the middle of this urban jungle. It had five stories and was decorated with gargoyles and stained glass windows as if a church. Vanessa noticed that a thug was guarding the main gates, and that they might need to find another way in. “I have an uber-swagalicious concept,” Vanessa said. “I’ll act like I’m going in there to have a good time with Bert, and then I’ll open a way in for you.” “Alright then, just don’t get yourself hurt,” said Blake. “K den,” said Vanessa. She got out of the car and headed towards the door. She knocked on the door and a gruesome man with only one eye greeted her. “Hi! What can I do for you today?” asked the man in a cheery voice. “Are you here to see Mr. Burt?” “Yeah, n00b,” said Vanessa. “I mean, yes, I am.” “Newb? What is this... newb? Who are you?” the guard asked. Before he could ask any more questions, Vanessa pimp slapped him outside of the building. “Srry, I dint mean it,” laughed Vanessa, who was starting to feel a bit too much like her old, swaggy self. She entered the mansion and went up the stairs to find Mr. Bert. Slapping the door at the top down, she barged in. “Hand over the necklace and I won’t open a totes l33t can of p4wnage on u l0zrs!” she proclaimed. “And who might you be?” came the boisterous voice of a man who appeared to be in his late 30’s, sitting in the middle of the dark room. He was surrounded by artifacts from museums and wore a bright gem on his neck. “I’ll go first. My name’s Bert, the King of Town. I own this part of Chicago, little miss. Okay, your turn.” In place of any real introduction, Vanessa pimp slapped Bert across the room. “Where is the necklace?!” she demanded. To emphasize her inquiry, she grabbed him by the collar and shook him around wildly. “I have at least seven necklaces! It’s hard to think of one in particular!” he replied, terrified. This gang boss wasn’t as threatening as his reputation. “I know where you stash your loot!” Vanessa screamed, and ripped open his shirt in search of the necklace. She had, because of her immense stupidity, mistaken the GEM OF AMAZING POWER from her world for the Forest Talisman of this One. Bert clasped his gem and yelled, “Don’t touch that! It’s a family heirloom!” Disregarding his screams, Vanessa grabbed the Gem and tried to trigger it’s power. However it was nothing more than your everyday ruby. “Guards!” Bert called out. “Get her!” As the thugs began to give chase, there was suddenly a mighty battle roar as Blake came flying through the air, and Blake’s outstretched leg made contact with the thug’s skull. "How ‘bout that for an entrance? Eh, Vanessa?” Blake said. Her response was a short pimp slap, not hard enough to send him flying but enough to show him what was what, and then she said, “I could’ve handled these n00bz on my own, flagg0t.” “If you two are quite finished, we should really get outta here!” Craig exclaimed from his position behind them, as thugs began to recover from the shock of Blake’s sudden entrance. “Not until I find Bess’s necklace!” Vanessa shouted. “I totes always carry out my #promises!” As the goons began to close in, there was a crazed gleam in Craig’s eyes as he drew his barber’s shears. “Houf,” he laughed drily. “I’ll try to handle these guys; you go look for Bess’s necklace.” he snipped his scissors menacingly and advanced. “Thnx bro!” Vanessa cried as she shot off in a random direction, quickly followed by Blake. There was a scream of agony from behind her, and although she didn’t look behind her to see, it sounded like what she imagined Craig would scream like, followed by a shout from Bert, “Stop her!” Spotting a staircase to her right, Vanessa called out to Blake as she ran up to the upper floor, “I knowz where it at!” “Wait, Vanessa!” Blake called out. She stopped, turning. “Vanessa, I don’t know what’s going to happen up there, but... but if the goons get to me, if this is the last time I get to see you...” he drew his face closer to Vanessa’s closing his eyes. Kissing another guy was not on the top of Vanessa’s to-do-list though, and she pimp-slapped him promptly, running up the stairs. “Sorry Blake, I like girlz!” she yelled, drawing closer to the top. Bursting into Bert’s attic, she looked about. The room was covered in gold bars, relics from WWI, and in the middle of the room, a golden necklace, or rather, a talisman! As she approached the necklace, Vanessa kept thinking, it couldn’t possibly be that easy, could it? “No, it can’t,” came the voice of Bert from behind her. “I know you didn’t say anything, but I was just taking a shot in the dark. You were thinking, ‘It couldn’t possibly be that easy, could it,’ right?” Ruefully, Vanessa nodded her head. “And my mum said that psychic training was a scam. Shows what she knew. Anyway, I have a proposition for you,” he said, gesturing to someone down the stairs. Craig and Blake were brought up, bound. Bert pulled a revolver out of his coat pocket. “You can see where this is going, can’t you?” Vanessa did indeed know where this is going, and pimp slapped Bert across the room to prevent such a thing from occurring. “You... you didn’t even let me make my offer!” Bert spat. “You’re a... a giant meanie head!” “You’re a brave little lady, you know that?” Craig began as Vanessa untied him, to which Blake replied,“Don’t even try. She’s gay, apparently.” After they were untied, Vanessa stood up, looked the goons in the eye (who audibly whimpered) and walked over to the middle of the room. And with a great sense of triumph in her heat, Vanessa clutched the necklace in her hands and raised her head in a victorious display. “I... am... NESSIE’S CHOSEN HEROOOOOOOO!” she shouted triumphantly. A spray of light formed around her and Vanessa’s collapsed as Jason’s spirit left her, taking the talisman with it. “Wait, so we don’t even get to bring Bess’s necklace back?” Blake asked. “Vanessa, you suck!” Category:Chapters